I Was 40, Broke, and Starting Over With RM100
There's a kind of silence that you only understand after you've lost everything.
Not the peaceful kind.
The kind where you sit there, run the numbers for the fourth time, and hope the answer will somehow be different.
It never is.
That Year, I Was 40
That year, I sold the pharmacy I had spent years building.
Not because business was good and I was riding off into the sunset.
Because I couldn't hold on anymore.
Bills. Debts. My son's medical and therapy costs — coming at me one after another. It wasn't dramatic. It wasn't the kind of story that makes the news. I was the kind of person who still showed up to work on time, still smiled at people — but inside, the numbers never added up no matter how many times I ran them.
I was 40. I thought I had life figured out by now.
Turns out, I really didn't.
The Hardest Part Wasn't the Money
Everyone assumes that starting over is hardest financially.
It's not.
The hardest part is identity.
I had been "the pharmacist who runs his own clinic" for so long that when I sold it, I didn't know who I was anymore. Going back to being a salaried employee at 40 felt like moving backwards — like returning to the version of myself at 22, fresh out of school.
During that period, I kept lying to myself —
"I'll start investing when I've saved up a bit more." "The timing isn't right." "I'll figure it out once things settle down."
And I kept waiting. And waiting. And nothing ever started.
Salary Day
The day I actually started was nothing special.
Payday. Bills paid. RM100 left over.
Not much.
I could have told myself "this amount isn't worth doing anything with" and kept waiting.
But I didn't.
I opened moomoo, bought a small fractional share in a company I believed in. Took less than five minutes. The amount was almost embarrassing to say out loud.
But it was real. It was mine. Nobody could take it back.
My Investment Strategy Is Honestly Quite Boring
I don't have a system. I have a habit.
Every month on salary day, before I do anything else, I transfer a fixed amount into my investment account.
Then I buy.
I don't stare at charts until midnight. I don't chase hot stocks. I'm a pharmacist with a demanding job and a son who needs me present — I don't have the bandwidth for active trading.
What I buy instead is dividend-paying stocks — mostly on Bursa Malaysia, some US counters. I let the dividends accumulate quietly.
Some months, the dividends are enough for a decent meal. Some months, less.
But I've noticed something:
Small things, done consistently, stop feeling small.
My Son Is the Real Reason
My son — my little star — changed how I experience time.
I stopped thinking in quarters. I started thinking in decades.
When he needs treatment, support, or opportunities down the road, I want the answer to not be "we can't afford it."
That one thought changed how I see RM100 completely.
It's not just a small amount anymore.
It's a statement — I haven't given up.
The Real Numbers
I'm not going to pretend the results look impressive. They don't.
Some months the portfolio is green. Some months the market reminds me it doesn't care about my story.
But the dividends have started coming in.
Slowly. Every few months, a small amount arrives in my account — money I didn't have to work for directly.
The first time I saw it, I felt something shift.
Not because it was a lot. But because it proved that this system works — even for people who start late, start small, and start over.
If You're Also Starting Over
If you're somewhere in the middle of your own reset right now —
Whether it's financial, career-related, or just that quiet kind of lost that doesn't have a name —
Here's what I want you to know:
The amount doesn't matter. Starting does.
RM100 is more than zero. Every investor you admire today once started with an amount they were embarrassed to admit.
Your story is not your starting point.
It took me a long time to let go of the shame around selling the pharmacy. That shame is expensive — it makes you spend time you could use moving forward on regret instead.
Boring methods are the most effective ones.
Monthly fixed investing. No hot tips. Know why you're doing it. That's it.
Still on the Road
Every month I share my investment numbers here — the green months, the red months, the moment the dividends arrive, and the occasional story of almost giving up but not quite.
I'm not an expert. I'm a pharmacist dad who made mistakes, rebuilt slowly, and kept going because of one boy who deserves a father who didn't quit.
Some months, I only have RM100 to invest.
Every month, I invest anyway.
Comments
Post a Comment